A Cup of Chai

Well friends, as i get ready to write my final blog and reflections on India, i instinctively notice how short this summer seemed to me. Some days,depending on my mood, I’m happy about the quickness of the summer and others not so happy. Today is one of those in between days. I am ready to see my family and a few dear friends, however, i have some reservations upon leaving. This summer has been such a blessing; the time and preparation before my trip have all been worth the experience i have had. I will be eternally grateful for this sweet time. I’m sad to leave my friends and familiar faces on the street… although i was not able to provide a home for them or feed them everyday… i was able to bring a smile and the hope of Jesus. that was a daily joy for me. I am sad to leave the suffocating, smelly streets of Calcutta (as charming as it sounds) because i feel as if God was so present here for me. I know that location alone does not determine God’s presence, however, dependency does. I feel without cell phones, easily accessible Internet access, and air conditioning— much of a dependency is created. A part of me is scared to walk away from that. I’m sad to leave Shanti Dan and the vivacious children; never in my life have i felt a love so evasive. Their faces will never leave my mind and i will be forced to depend on God’s protection and grace for their lives.

HOWEVER…. I’m happy to bring what i learned about myself and others home with me. I will forever treasure it. I’m not quite sure how i will react to the “reverse culture shock” but i think I’m ready for it. In 4 days i will be on a plane back to my comfortable life and air conditioned loft. There will be some adjusting for sure, but God will be faithful even through my troubled, confused mind.

Thank you all for your encouraging prayers and blog comments. They always seemed to come at just the right time. I just feel so thankful to have so many friends and family members supporting me in my exposure to the third world. I pray that you all are daily remembering the gospel and Jesus’ intimate life among “the least of these.” I look forward to have a cup of chai with many of you. Please continue to keep me in your prayers these next few days as i bid Calcutta my final farewells (at least for now) and i prepare to arrive back in the dirty south.

Namaste (the God in me respects the God in you)

Kristie

P.S.    I will be posting pictures when i get home and have a 72 hour nap

disclaimer: this is a rough copy.. no punctualization or grammar editing.. just typing.

so every night i have been listening to jason upton to help me fall asleep.. some nights are better than others. some nights i just lay in my bed for hours thinking of my first meal in america. i know that sounds ridiculous and menial but often times my mind just wanders. you can only do so much journaling and reading in a 24 hour period.. oh yeah, ive been getting back into some soduko. this blog is also meaningless… just a small update on how ive been. nothing profound or thought provoking.. im just tired of looking at facebook and myspace.. wordpress was next on the agenda! the last few days have been kinda rough.. i have been thinking a lot about home. i found out a few days ago that my little brother is in the hospital with walking phenomia and a small hint of hep a. its bothers me a bit not being there and also makes me a little more homesick. he is doing better though… i ask for your prayers for him. i have 14 days until i go home.. i count down the days several times an hour and sometimes wonder if i spend the majority of my time just thinking about home. its weird… in america, im not hugely patriotic… okay not at all.. and here it seems like all i can think about is blessed states and comfortable lifestyle that follows. i have still not acclimated to the extreme discomfort that arises each day although i am trying my best to go home a much simpler person. im not sure if this is good or bad.. i know for one thing though.. when i leave i will miss this place so much. thats always how it works. while your present you think about a place youre absent and vice versa. i have noticed that smaller things excite me. i am easily entertained here. the other night i saw Hancock at the indian theatre. for 2 dollars, i was given admission into the very crowded, stinky place with popcorn and a fanta (i have grown a strong liking to the orange drink). NOW THATS A DEAL!!! the movie was horrible but for some reason the 2 hours of air conditioning made it incredibly enjoyable. tonight, me and a friend are treking out to find the one and only subway in calcutta. it should be interesting because every trip holds a different set of obstacles (bus ride, communication barrier, etc.). im about to wrap this thing up.. cause honestly i have nothing else to say. the children i teach are still wonderful yet sometimes give me a headache and the other place i have started volunteering is quite the story (for another meaningless blog). thank you all for reading my thoughts and keeping up with my indian life. ill return soon to probably begin to wish i was back here. my mind has quite the confusion in it.

LOVE AND PEACE

kristie

At Shanti Dan, there is a small 9 year old child about half the size of my brother, whom just turned 5. His name is Laltu. He has a heart murmur and recently his fever has escalated significantly. As I sit in the school where i teach and also where the children live, I wonder, how many of these malnourished children nursed back to health really do make it? What is their motivation for life? Laltu is my best student- He is quite the comic relief in an average day of shapes and colors. I look forward to daily seeing him. Two days ago though, his fever forced him to his bed and absent from class. This morning, I walked into his room to check on him and he was just sitting… lifeless, almost. Sister tried to tell me that he is a naughty boy because “he does not drink his milk or take his medicine” and she says that she hopes his parents come tomorrow for their scheduled visit because she will dismiss him. All day, her words continued to ring in my mind.. “he can just go.. You see him.. He is just naughty.” Now please understand the complexity of this situation and do not begin to have ill or sour feelings towards the sisters of charity (as their beautiful work has healed and rescued many out of poverty and oppression) but know that just as anything you do day in and day out becomes stale–she too has seen many of the complications of poverty and sometimes the hopelessness that follows. I then sit next to him and begin to hand feed him his warm glass of milk realizing that this is no issue of defiance or rebellion but simply a matter of him being legitimately ill and weak. As he finished his glass, I held him for a few minutes. The noticeable shift in his emotion causes me to think that this situation, if not promptly handled, could progressively lead to something severe. Never in my life have i felt so much love and pleading for someones life as i did in this moment. I felt like this child was literally dying in my arms and i could do absolutely nothing about it. Talk about an overwhelming sense of powerlessness. It was in this moment that I felt all I could do was pray on this child’s behalf. I sat there and battled in my mind the possible solutions I could do to alleviate his pain. It is weird to describe as Im sure it is weird for you to read and understand fully what i was feeling today. My mind is boggled and overwhelmed at the crazy implications this country possesses. I’m not quite sure if i will leave feeling like I’ve accomlished anything; however, i know and have seen the faces of the people dying from preventable diseases and i am sure that i can not leave here unchanged. Confused yet empowered, i look forward to the moments that lie ahead. I am thankful for situations that bring change. I believe change is the evidence of the spirit of God residing in our hearts. Please pray for Laltu.