A Cup of Chai

india aftermath…

well, i have officially been home a week. its quite weird, but not as different as i expected it to be. i really miss the shanti dan children and have a hard time even thinking about them. although i dont think ill ever see them again, i feel as if ill go back someday. i really have to focus my energy on school this semester, though. i am graduating in december and feel as if these have been a pretty productive 4 years for me. two of my best friends are moving far away this next week. this semester will be much different without them. when i think about india.. i feel confused. i feel as if i saw so many sad things yet found no solutions. i feel as if the trip was productive in my exposure to the country yet i am left with not knowing the next step to take. i have figured out that i love the country and i definitely want to live there long term however, i am overwhelmed with the work that needs to be done in such a broken place. i dont think there are formulas or 12 step answers, but sometimes i wish there were. instead, you are forced to take it one day at a time. 

im learning to trust even deeper right now. im learning to trust God for my future and my vocation. as i begin this next semester, i am going to try to remember all that ive learned this summer. ive learned that it is so easy to change your perspective to your present location. it is a conscious effort to remain sensitive to others and their needs.

Well friends, as i get ready to write my final blog and reflections on India, i instinctively notice how short this summer seemed to me. Some days,depending on my mood, I’m happy about the quickness of the summer and others not so happy. Today is one of those in between days. I am ready to see my family and a few dear friends, however, i have some reservations upon leaving. This summer has been such a blessing; the time and preparation before my trip have all been worth the experience i have had. I will be eternally grateful for this sweet time. I’m sad to leave my friends and familiar faces on the street… although i was not able to provide a home for them or feed them everyday… i was able to bring a smile and the hope of Jesus. that was a daily joy for me. I am sad to leave the suffocating, smelly streets of Calcutta (as charming as it sounds) because i feel as if God was so present here for me. I know that location alone does not determine God’s presence, however, dependency does. I feel without cell phones, easily accessible Internet access, and air conditioning— much of a dependency is created. A part of me is scared to walk away from that. I’m sad to leave Shanti Dan and the vivacious children; never in my life have i felt a love so evasive. Their faces will never leave my mind and i will be forced to depend on God’s protection and grace for their lives.

HOWEVER…. I’m happy to bring what i learned about myself and others home with me. I will forever treasure it. I’m not quite sure how i will react to the “reverse culture shock” but i think I’m ready for it. In 4 days i will be on a plane back to my comfortable life and air conditioned loft. There will be some adjusting for sure, but God will be faithful even through my troubled, confused mind.

Thank you all for your encouraging prayers and blog comments. They always seemed to come at just the right time. I just feel so thankful to have so many friends and family members supporting me in my exposure to the third world. I pray that you all are daily remembering the gospel and Jesus’ intimate life among “the least of these.” I look forward to have a cup of chai with many of you. Please continue to keep me in your prayers these next few days as i bid Calcutta my final farewells (at least for now) and i prepare to arrive back in the dirty south.

Namaste (the God in me respects the God in you)

Kristie

P.S.    I will be posting pictures when i get home and have a 72 hour nap

disclaimer: this is a rough copy.. no punctualization or grammar editing.. just typing.

so every night i have been listening to jason upton to help me fall asleep.. some nights are better than others. some nights i just lay in my bed for hours thinking of my first meal in america. i know that sounds ridiculous and menial but often times my mind just wanders. you can only do so much journaling and reading in a 24 hour period.. oh yeah, ive been getting back into some soduko. this blog is also meaningless… just a small update on how ive been. nothing profound or thought provoking.. im just tired of looking at facebook and myspace.. wordpress was next on the agenda! the last few days have been kinda rough.. i have been thinking a lot about home. i found out a few days ago that my little brother is in the hospital with walking phenomia and a small hint of hep a. its bothers me a bit not being there and also makes me a little more homesick. he is doing better though… i ask for your prayers for him. i have 14 days until i go home.. i count down the days several times an hour and sometimes wonder if i spend the majority of my time just thinking about home. its weird… in america, im not hugely patriotic… okay not at all.. and here it seems like all i can think about is blessed states and comfortable lifestyle that follows. i have still not acclimated to the extreme discomfort that arises each day although i am trying my best to go home a much simpler person. im not sure if this is good or bad.. i know for one thing though.. when i leave i will miss this place so much. thats always how it works. while your present you think about a place youre absent and vice versa. i have noticed that smaller things excite me. i am easily entertained here. the other night i saw Hancock at the indian theatre. for 2 dollars, i was given admission into the very crowded, stinky place with popcorn and a fanta (i have grown a strong liking to the orange drink). NOW THATS A DEAL!!! the movie was horrible but for some reason the 2 hours of air conditioning made it incredibly enjoyable. tonight, me and a friend are treking out to find the one and only subway in calcutta. it should be interesting because every trip holds a different set of obstacles (bus ride, communication barrier, etc.). im about to wrap this thing up.. cause honestly i have nothing else to say. the children i teach are still wonderful yet sometimes give me a headache and the other place i have started volunteering is quite the story (for another meaningless blog). thank you all for reading my thoughts and keeping up with my indian life. ill return soon to probably begin to wish i was back here. my mind has quite the confusion in it.

LOVE AND PEACE

kristie

At Shanti Dan, there is a small 9 year old child about half the size of my brother, whom just turned 5. His name is Laltu. He has a heart murmur and recently his fever has escalated significantly. As I sit in the school where i teach and also where the children live, I wonder, how many of these malnourished children nursed back to health really do make it? What is their motivation for life? Laltu is my best student- He is quite the comic relief in an average day of shapes and colors. I look forward to daily seeing him. Two days ago though, his fever forced him to his bed and absent from class. This morning, I walked into his room to check on him and he was just sitting… lifeless, almost. Sister tried to tell me that he is a naughty boy because “he does not drink his milk or take his medicine” and she says that she hopes his parents come tomorrow for their scheduled visit because she will dismiss him. All day, her words continued to ring in my mind.. “he can just go.. You see him.. He is just naughty.” Now please understand the complexity of this situation and do not begin to have ill or sour feelings towards the sisters of charity (as their beautiful work has healed and rescued many out of poverty and oppression) but know that just as anything you do day in and day out becomes stale–she too has seen many of the complications of poverty and sometimes the hopelessness that follows. I then sit next to him and begin to hand feed him his warm glass of milk realizing that this is no issue of defiance or rebellion but simply a matter of him being legitimately ill and weak. As he finished his glass, I held him for a few minutes. The noticeable shift in his emotion causes me to think that this situation, if not promptly handled, could progressively lead to something severe. Never in my life have i felt so much love and pleading for someones life as i did in this moment. I felt like this child was literally dying in my arms and i could do absolutely nothing about it. Talk about an overwhelming sense of powerlessness. It was in this moment that I felt all I could do was pray on this child’s behalf. I sat there and battled in my mind the possible solutions I could do to alleviate his pain. It is weird to describe as Im sure it is weird for you to read and understand fully what i was feeling today. My mind is boggled and overwhelmed at the crazy implications this country possesses. I’m not quite sure if i will leave feeling like I’ve accomlished anything; however, i know and have seen the faces of the people dying from preventable diseases and i am sure that i can not leave here unchanged. Confused yet empowered, i look forward to the moments that lie ahead. I am thankful for situations that bring change. I believe change is the evidence of the spirit of God residing in our hearts. Please pray for Laltu.

Today was probably one of the sweetest, memory making momentsthat I’ve experienced in all my time here. We commuted about an hour to a small village where we were greeted by many happy, rambunctious street children. They were excited to see us because they knew what was to come. The brothers (opposite the sisters) of missionaries of charity wash and feed about a hundred street children each week. A little overwhelmed at first, i was handed a small bar of soap. Girls and boys separated and the goal was to have them squeaky clean for their big lunch. A few young girls, sadly I observed, seemed to be sexually advanced in their promiscuous attitude and stance. Kolkata has a rather large red light district area which is where many of the young, street girls are taken. Regardless, it was a good time of fun and excitement. Although, they were probably clean for about 30 minutes, i felt a sense of renewal. After lunch, they scattered back into the streets hopefully remembering they are loved and kindly accepted by the brothers of mother teresa.

Sorry to all you interested folks, photos were not permitted!

Love and Miss you all—

Kristie

I’ll start by actually talking about my days. They are long and hot; the buses here are crowed and filled with B.O. For some reason though, i like it. I like the bus rides… sometimes they are peaceful. My commute to the place i teach (Shanti Dan) is approx 45 min with a mile walk. I have found peace and reflection in that also. There are 6 children in my class between the ages of 7 and 9 (when i say class.. do not think of a big spacious room with desks… there are 3 different age groups and 5 teachers– all of which teach in the same room just at different tables… it gets loud sometimes). Only one of my children is an orphan; all the others have families that live away from Shanti Dan (House of Peace). The children are taken in or dropped off because they are severely malnourished and/or have tuberculosis. Amidst the circumstances, they have amazing energy. They are learning shapes and numbers right now (in English) while they are teaching me some Bengali (state language). seriously, it makes me really sad to think of my last day with the children.  it is coming quicker than i know it. today we made musical instruments… i thought they were going to drop dead they were so excited! The children are by far my favorite part about India.

I have met so many people from all over the world here in this diverse place. The first part of my trip, we primarily focused on gaining a greater understanding for the Hindu and Muslim culture/religion (i believe they are one in the same, sometimes). I have found it very easy to create these hear-say stereotypes about whole religious sects without even really knowing the basis of their faith. I found myself extremely guilty of doing this exact same thing! It is fascinating to me, just as America is primarily a monotheistic “Christian” nation, that these people have learned and grown up in a religion that has been ingrained in their minds for centuries. I believe that just as I am committed and devoted to Jesus, they are also just on the other side of the spectrum. Does it mean that they have overstepped the boundary of love? Is it that the redemptive power of Jesus does not extend to people of different cultures or religions, even??? I have wrestled with these questions most recently because i have seen real faces in the mosques and met devout women on the streets. As much as I have my reservations of “conversion” or “evangelism”- I think they do too. How many of you reading this blog would begin to change your faith and core beliefs from the God of the Bible to the Muslim god Allah?? I read a compelling statistic recently that said, on average, it takes a Muslim 7 years to convert to Christianity. 7 years! Regardless, we have this preconceived notion that with one conversation, they will be automatic Christian converts. I just finished Jesus for President (great read, btw)… Shane Claiborne says something quite profound… “It’s a shame that a few conservative evangelicals have had a monopoly on the word conversion. Some of us shiver at the word. But conversion means to change, to alter, to make something look different than it did before- like conversion vans or converted currency. We need conversion in the best sense of the word–people who are marked by the renewing of their minds and imaginations, who no longer conform to the pattern that is destroying our world. Otherwise we have only believers, not converts. And believers are a dime in a dozen nowadays. What the world needs is people who believe so much in another world that they cannot help but enact it.” what a beautiful concept!! Am i saying that it is hopeless to share the love of Christ with the second to largest religion in the world?? I believe, even more firmly now than i ever have, that there should be a constant need and desperation to be led by the Holy Spirit in word and in deed. I think that it is interesting and productive to have a rounded, open mind on religion as a whole. I feel as if it is all filth to God. The stale, monotone traditions of the Bible-based church are just as repulsive as the insincere Muslim call to prayer. Anything done out of routine for emotional fulfillment is empty– But the God of peace accepts all who are weak and heavy burdened…all who take off the religious lenses and desperately want something real and lasting. I often sit in adoration at the Mother House and just observe the sisters in their daily reflection and thanksgiving. As much as that can be repetitious and redundant, it is counteracted with an entire day of living alongside the least and hopeless. It is a time to truly gain back the strength and ability to make it to tomorrow. Have we become so desperate for God that we literally pray and depend on His strength to take us to tomorrow? i don’t think i have. It is a new approach for me to fully rely on God (not to be confused with the Christian marketing ploy of the 90’s–F.R.O.G. or W.W.J.D. ) It has been a constant struggle in India to remember all religions, even my own, is worthless when my heart is absent.

I hope and pray that a daily “adoration” is present in your lives and that your passion for others is continually increased. “We are carriers of God’s love and whoever you are, you can become one also.” Mother T.

To all those that live in Louisiana, I never thought i would say this, but, a Meches’ donut sounds pretty scrumptious right now… To all those that don’t, continue to be deceived by your Krispy Kreme.

The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted.
Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa is treasured and loved in her homeland of Kolkata. It is truly amazing to see how one person can make such a difference, how one person can have such large visions and be determined to fulfill them. It’s inspiring, really.

Today I visited the leprosy colony; a place of dignity and respect. I felt as though I would be walking right into the New Testiment which is why was was oh so eager to wake up this morning. Although, it wasn’t exactly what I had in mind… it was a community of beauty and healing; a safe haven almost for these “untouchables.” It was amazing to see the jobs that these people were given to rediscover lost hope and distant integrity. Everyone is welcome. Rich, poor, indian, foreigner, catholic, protestant, sick, or well… the community is open. Hope is restored and healing is freely given. I’m thankful to be given such an opportunity to see and admire the Christ in others. I feel as if it is easy to get discouraged by the sadness in Kolkata; however, if one woman can make such an impact on the community around her, just imagine the devastation we would create if we all actively joined together as the beautiful body of Christ. Healing, hope, restoration, freedom would be granted… maybe then the world might look a little like the New Testiment.

Thanks for reading… post some ideas on how we can unify this faith and action thing.

I’ve decided to give you an accurate perception of the place I’ve landed.. i will create several lists of things that smell, disturbing sights, things i love, things i could do without..etc. ENJOY!

Things that i love about INDIA

1. the prices of everything are super cheap.. you just dont ever buy anything over 500 rupees– (10 american dollars).. lunch on an average day cost me 40 rupees (equivalent to 1 dollar)

2. i love that every form of transportation is on the road.. elephants, cows, camels.. there is no discrimination

3. fresh lime sodas !!! fresh lime juice mixed with club soda! amazing! these are really good off the street.. and they are like 5 rupees

4. i love that no one looks good here… so a lack of shower, makeup, or decent clothes are something that no one cares about.

5. i am literally a celebrity here. everyone stares like i am the most albino, weirdest looking person they have ever seen.

A list of things that smell

1. firstly, i will say that human poop and pee in the gutters is not the number one thing my nose craves when walking to lunch (this is a semi developed place… you would think they would go around the corner or something to handle their bathroom duties)

2. street meat markets .. keep in mind india does not use refridgeration. you can just imagine the sanitation!

3. B.O. really isnt that pleasant. unless its your own… and ill say that most of the time it is not. personal space here is a luxury. getting down and dirty with the indians is a normal day event.

4. curry… it still makes my stomach turn.. ive been here a month, dont think its something ill adapt too.

5. trash… usually a pure delicacy for the “holy” cows on the street. flies tend to gravitate as well.

i’ll move to a list of pleasantness… most adventurous things ive done in INDIA.

1. flown 8 times on indian airlines… thats pretty risky, i think.

2. gone anywhere in a taxi or rickshaw.. india is by far the most loco, conjested country on the planet

3. crossed a rushing river on a skinny wet log… the rapid river was about 20 yards across.. oregon trail style

4. climbed a mountain in the himalayas being stopped by several armed soldiers

5. bought anything “edible” from street vendors

List of things i will not miss when i leave

1. the scorching heat and 97% humitidy (one upside to that though is that if you drink 6 liters of water a day.. you only pee once) sweat sweat sweat!

2. people yelling auntie or madam at me everytime i step foot outside (maybe i will kinda miss that)

3. communication barrier; however, some people in the states are just as communicatively challenged

4. i will not miss nationals automatically raising the price on everything just because i am white

5. the car horns… i hear them in my sleep

Things i will miss the most when my plane arrives in the US of A

1. the children here are beautiful… they bring joy to my heart

2. the peaceful mountains

3. the challenging lifestyle (it is a constant effort and prayer to remain sensitive to the dispairing conditions our brothers and sisters have grown accustomed to)

4. the sisters of charity. these women are amazing! their faith and action is a pure delight.

5. everyday is a new adventure… you never know if you are going to get where your taxi says hes going to bring you, you might not ever receive the food you ordered, and it just might downpour on the clothes you just handwashed

Things I thought i could live without and now know they are life’s necessity

1. chips and salsa (katie, please take note of this when i return)

2. clean clothes

3. air conditioning (this is one advancement in technology i am most grateful for)

4. my nalgene bottle

5. people that understand me and my humor (NOTE: indians are NEVER sarcastic)

Hope you all are well. I hope the Lord is continually resonating in your mind and in your actions. Although, the days seem like 34 hours, there are things in Kolkata that i know are good and beneficial for me right now. I feel peace about being here; i am blessed and priveledged to be a part of something so eternal.

Love and Blessings-Kristie

I want to first apologize for not keeping you more up to date. The last I posted was Calcutta and my beginning compassion for the broken place. Since then, I have gotten on an airplane 6 times, treked 4 days in the beautiful Himalayans, and seen an elephant walking in 5 o clock Delhi traffic. The last two weeks have been pretty exhausting, yet extremely adventurous. The team leaves tomorrow after another full day of travel to the Taj Mahal… then I’m off to Calcutta.

In the mountains, I was reminded of something very sweet… something i hope will continue to resonate in my mind and yours. i am constantly reminded of the word “community.” I feel as if it is easy to loosely use this term (as any other christian jargon) causing it to be devalued or misunderstood. A community (or so i think) is a group of tightly knit people overlapping resources and seeking the same goal. A community is a group of people who hope and believe. Although, my definition may sound a bit ambiguous.. I’m going somewhere with it, I promise. I have discovered a true sense of community, i feel, in the recent year or so with some very dear friends back home in the states. It is an extreme struggle for me when that community is removed. Whereas, i don’t feel as if it is merely the specific people (although, i like you guys very much) as much as i feel like it is the sense of collaboration. I hung out recently with a young couple who took us on our mountain trek. They brought us into houses (or barns, really) i never imagined someone’s home to look like. As the villagers invited our 10 man team in, we huddled closely on the pine needle dirt floor. (next to me was sitting a sweet calf and its momma.) We went in to simply share joy and hope. As we talked (translator present) they made each of us a cup of chai tea (which you can NEVER deny, even if you are blazing hot..its like the mortal sin of India) and some homemade unleavened bread. this might seem insignificant or small but it really taught me that even the most distant folks in the village need community. they need the fulfillment of sharing.. love, food, or even just stories. The feeling that there are those present that want to compassionately listen and extend grace resonates. May the communion you have be one of community and love. May you continually reach to those who have lost hope in community. When community is gone, the soul begins to lose purpose.

Political Affairs—

Brief history note before i begin this part of my post… The Kashmir (a place in northern India near the Pakistan border) Conflict refers to the territorial dispute between India and Pakistan over Kashmir. The official stated stance of India is that Kashmir is an “integral part” of India, while the official stated stance of Pakistan is that Kashmir is a disputed territory whose final status can only be determined by the Kashmiri people. The Kashmiri government has become inactive and apathetic towards any conflict resolution. This causes an intense enviroment for the entire region of Kashmir. An armed soldier stands at every corner, a foreign customs form is mandatory when traveling to and from even though it is within India, and the borders have been shut until further notice. Driving into Kashmir, I began to feel the tension (maybe I’ve seen far too many movies with corrupt governments); however, i was excited to talk to some university students about the recent uprising. our team was escorted into a press room with microphones at every seat (I’m not going to lie.. i felt a little too important )we began the discussion with our individual introduction.. then one of the Kashmiri students(sidenote: these students were 100% Muslim) asked how peace could be attained and how we could innately achieve this ever present goal. The sterotypes often arise when even mentioning the Muslim religion but I’ve learned that something radical begins to happen when you put aside all your opinions, sterotypes, preconceived notions… the overflowing grace of God actually covers even the Muslim in the middle east. When the discussion was shifted on the American response.. immediately one of the Kashmiri students began to passionately explain his apologies for the 9/11 occurance. A calm sense of expressed emotion lingered in the room; a sense that although september 11th was a sad day for the famililes that lost loved ones, there were hurting, scared individuals that daily faced fear and conflict. they didnt understand war and death. they longed to be a free people; free to live and learn absent of fear. There needs to be a constant prayer for peace in our hearts. It was heartbreaking and challenging to talk to students in India that knew english better than i did but won’t have the same freedom or opportunities that i have. It is mere luck that we are born into a free country. There is no greater love or blessing that is given to us simply because of our American name. Peace is a collaborative effort apart from color or religion … it is a sharing community that needs to be revived.

Asaalam Aleikum (May the peace of God be with you)